Insights, Tips, and Just Cool Information
Have you stayed up all night wondering why your partner is upset?
Maybe you find yourself at the freezer at 2am eating a gallon of ice
cream after a break up?
When I worked at a high-end resort in Tucson, Arizona, I was shocked to
discover how many couples spend years living together with no intimate
relations at all.
I taught yoga and meditation to the couples who came to participate in a
program to reclaim their relationship. It was then that I first learned tools
and information about the complexity of relationships.
At the Institute for Integrative Nutrition I learned about Primary Foods.
How there are certain foods, that we do not partake into our stomachs,
and yet they play a much more crucial role in our health and happiness.
The first two Primary Foods are exercise and work.
You can click and read about them individually.
The third Primary Food is: Intimacy.
Do you feel loved and connected to on an intimate level?
It is important to have friends and family. And when I work with clients
we ask those questions as well. Yet, it is the intimate relationship that
truly affects the health and happiness of an individual and can send people
to gorge on their favorite sweets.
We don’t even realize we are trying to love ourselves through food because we
feel so disconnected from the person we are with.
We are partner prone individuals. More than 80% of us would rather live with a
partner than live alone.
Even if you were a monk or nun secluded in the mountains, the question of intimacy
still hold truth and importance when it comes to overall health and happiness.
Intimacy can very hard to look at.
It brings with it many memories from the past as children growing up, or experiences
in past relationships that have caused us to guard ourselves, or form negative patterns
such as dependency or fear of being alone.
There is no right or wrong answer. Each person is unique as we discovered with the
concept of Bio-Individuality: what works for one person can be detrimental to another.
The answer, especially in intimacy, which involves more than one person, is usually
not what we expect.
Choosing to ask the question is what is important.
What does intimacy mean to you?
Do you feel that the intimacy is equally shared between you two?
What are the ways that make you feel full and loved on your own
(dancing? Running? Making money? Reading? Surfing? What is it for you?)?
What is your ideal intimate relationship?
Knowing what you need can help you share these with your partner.
They may have other needs or a different approach to sharing intimacy, but one
thing I learned teaching in Tucson for 2 years, when your relationship is strong,
your happiness is even stronger.
It does not mean there are no challenges. But it means that you feel like you
have a partner to face these challenges with.
People often comment how that is the more powerful feeling in the world.
This is the stuff that movies are made about.
Leave a comment below on how you see intimacy.
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